The one thought I can’t shake is probably the most common: I gave you everything and you weren’t worth it. If you’ve recently lost a friendship, situation, relationship, or something beyond categorization, it tends to leave a void in you. Even if the end of your time together was the best, that doesn’t stop you from feeling the pain that comes with something that meant so much to you coming to an end. You may not leave your room for a few days; you can have a glass of ice cream under some fairy lights; you can hit some taillights (I won’t tell); you can cover a cake to read “Goodbye idiot”; you can take refuge in music. You can do all these things and more, which ends up creating a pretty busy schedule after you’re done. You may not have the time or energy to create your own breakup playlist from scratch, so here I present my own tried and true breakup soundtrack to guide you from the broken heart and decimated to living your best life without them.
“Two Ghosts” by Harry Styles
You may be separated now, or you are only now realizing that it is time to break up. This melancholy song by Harry Styles chronicles the moment of realization: the two of you may have had something special, but your relationship is just a shadow of its former glory now. You’ve changed, and that’s okay, but soon enough, you’ll realize it’s time to stop resurrecting the relationship and call him.
“I love you” by Billie Eilish
This can best be described as the bargaining stage: you still love them whether you like it or not, and you’re racking your brains to find a way to keep everything from falling apart in your hands. When you realize it’s too late for that, you almost wish you never met. At least you wouldn’t feel the crushing pain you’re feeling right now. No one puts these feelings into words better (and with a silkier voice) than Billie Eilish.
“Enough for you” by Olivia Rodrigo
Next to pop princess Olivia Rodrigo, you’re regretting all the care you put into the relationship when they weren’t willing to do the same for you. You don’t want to hear them say they’re sorry; that won’t solve anything now. You just want to be the person you were before they hurt you. This song harbors the beginnings of hope for the future, as Rodrigo sings on the bridge: “Feel sorry for yourself / Because one day I’ll be everything to someone else”. You’re still grieving, but you know that one day, no matter how far away, someone will love you the way you deserve to be loved.
“Die of a Broken Heart” by Maddie & Tae
The wound is still extremely fresh. This Maddie & Tae record ponders whether it’s possible to get over it (spoiler alert: it is, and you will). Still reeling from the breakup and wondering how you will ever survive a decision that has destabilized your world while seemingly leaving theirs unchanged, this is the time to feel your feelings and accept that they are valid. Just remember that you won’t be down for the count.
“T-shirt” by Garrett Nash
You’ve progressed to full-on anger, but you can admit that the reason you’re so angry is because they meant so much to you. You are hating them, hoping they are suffering like you are. You wonder what you should do with their stuff, everything they’ve given you and all their reminders. Bury it? Deliver it? Stick it in the back of the closet? Burn it? There is no wrong answer. Do what you think is right while screaming at the top of your lungs along with Garrett Nash (inventor of the breakup explosion) The melody is so fun you might even find yourself smiling.
“good 4 u” by Olivia Rodrigo
Fun story: While listening to this in my rage phase, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be fun to hear this song live?” So of course I found out it’s $500+ a ticket so I didn’t. But I disagree. You’re watching them from the outside, and they look completely fine. How dare they?! How can they be well, even thriving, when you’re in shambles? It seems unfair. This is the perfect “fuck you” anthem for when you need it most. Prayers for the person who shares a bedroom wall with you during this breakup phase.
“Save Me” by Ed Sheeran
Anger briefly gave way to its real cause: sadness. You can’t help but think about how you give and give, only to never get back. However, this is different from the pity phase as you know it’s time to put yourself first. In this song, Sheeran reminds us to put on our own oxygen masks before helping others.
“Happier Than Ever” by Billie Eilish
This song exemplifies my personal favorite phase: relief. I type these words while eating a food they hate, revealing how much happier I am without them. You haven’t shed all your anger and sadness yet, but you’re finally free of them and all the better for it. Here it is for you.
“Better Than You Left Me” by Mickey Guyton
You can still remember the pain of being left behind, but it grew dramatically from the person you were then. You can still think about them, even with a hint of sadness, but you wouldn’t take them back now if they begged you. This Mickey Guyton track celebrates you and the person you’ve become.
“you broke me first” by Tate McRae
This single from Tate McRae represents an evolution of the breakup: you’ve gone from mourning this person, unable to look at pictures of you together, to feeling nothing when you see their name. While you can still remember the damage the breakup did to your life, before you could have given everything for one last conversation, but now you have nothing to say. You’re healing, and I couldn’t be more proud.
“Sue Me” by Sabrina Carpenter
I know putting Sabrina and Olivia on the same playlist is #controversial, but you’ll have to forgive me because they both belong. Sabrina puts that post-breakup feeling into the song better than anyone else: you’re more confident than ever, talking to your friends like it’s nothing and going places that might have made you cry months earlier with incredible ease. At this point, you are thriving, and they should very well know that. You’re going to live your best life, no matter what they might have to say about it.
If they don’t like what you’ve become, they can sit back and deal with it.
“I’m not crazy” by Halsey
At this point, you and Halsey are so overcome that you can finally see them for what they are: someone who hurt you and for whom you wish the best. You don’t expect them to feel the pain of a thousand suns anymore, but while you’re not mad anymore, you can’t help but hope they regret letting you go until your last breath.
“my future” by Billie Eilish
You are not longing for anyone; now, you are getting to know yourself. Billie is brave in a million ways, but in “my future” I have to applaud her for her bold (and true) claim that cultivating a strong relationship with yourself is just as significant (if not more so) than doing the same with yourself. some. Guy. The most important thing is that you make yourself happy, and you’re finally doing that.
Taylor Swift’s “Forgot You Existed”
The day you thought would never come has finally arrived. You used to think about them all the time, wondering how you would survive, but now the noise in your head has gone suspiciously quiet. You did it. You forgot they existed. It’s hard to say you’ve really gotten over it, but if you’ve gotten here, I’d say you’ve certainly gotten over it. If breakup music queen Taylor Swift herself can get here, so can you.
“Begin Again (Taylor’s Version)” by Taylor Swift
You’re on a first date again. Taylor’s smooth vocals ring through. The person sitting across from you looks like they couldn’t be more different from the one you left behind. Once and for all, the pain is in the rearview mirror.
You may not go through this playlist in a completely linear fashion. You can skip the feather party era or stay in your rage phase for a little longer than ideal. You can speed through sadness and anger to relief, only for sadness to hit you out of nowhere in the middle of a sunny day. You can feel all these things at the same time. You will heal at your own pace in whatever way you see fit. Truth be told, I still haven’t reached my “I Forgot That You Existid” era, let alone my “Begin Again” era. But I will, and so will you.
Beat TV editor Emmy Snyder can be reached at emmys@umich.edu.